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Feature for Itís Complicated

I will survive

Whether it be divorce, a breakup or simply the loss of a much beloved and over worn winter jumper, we all at some point go through extreme heartache. Even Meryl Streep (albeit as Jane in her upcoming new movie It’s Complicated) must suffer.

Playing an abandoned wife in It’s Complicated Meryl’s character Jane takes us through the various stages of break-up woe, and through the twists and turns we see her fall into every break up pothole there is.

While sadly there is no 100% fool-proof fix to get through these dark days, we’ve collated a few golden gems of film do’s and don’ts that to bear in mind when the relationship reaper comes for you:

  • Cry me a river– while this may seem obvious (and to some, distastefully feminine), it’s important to mourn when you lose something, repression is not healthy – however, maybe avoid taking it to the weeping extremes of Peter while he is trying to forget Sarah Marshall. It’s too much.
  • Surround yourself with friendscrucial in all break up situations. Friend support will get us through the most devastating heartache, and without it we can go slightly loopy… Owen Wilson’s tragic fall from crashing grace in Wedding Crashers should be a ‘grave’ warning to us all.
  • Cut the cord – there is an everlasting myth that it is possible to remain friends with an ex, and for this I blame a certain Ross and Rachel. IT IS NOT TRUE, well, at least certainly not to begin with. Delete their number, all texts, ANYTHING linking you to them. However, do NOT completely erase the memory of them; we learnt our lesson watching the Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind thanks.
  • Embrace the hate – no matter how lovely you are, the hate will come. Embrace it. However, if you have super-powers similar to Uma Thurman in My Super Ex-Girlfriend, maybe err on the side of caution; throwing a great white shark is perhaps one step to far (this will depend on circumstances – seek further guidance). 
  • Do think about it but don’t dwell – a tricky and nigh on impossible state of mind, however the main aim of the game in most cases is to reach a point where you can recognise why the relationship ended, but the hate is gone. Find your Anna from Sliding Doors to lend a sympathetic ear that’s balanced out with some home truths.
  • Clean – a bizarre change in cleaning habits always seems to accompany a break up. Applying as much to your state of mind as your household possessions, whether its just having a bit of a clean out, or going the whole hog and completely renovating your house as done by Jane in It’s Complicated, get rid of clutter in house and mind for a fresh start.
  • Get active – a collective groan goes up when we first advise a friend on the pro’s of ‘trying something new’ (after the weeping, cleaning and hate has gone of course). Cliché’s are such for a reason people – they work! Think Elle Woods from Legally Blonde, and turn the end of your relationship into the start of something great (don’t be disheartened if becoming a top legal mind doesn’t happen straight away, learning to knit is fine too…).  And, if it doesn’t work, what the hey, at least you tried!  
  • Going back – not something that is generally advisable, but as we see time and time again in films, people will not learn. This went VERY badly for both Henrietta(Duck-Face) in Four Weddings and a Funeral and our beloved notorious second chancer Bridget Jones. However, it seemed to be a success for Brenda in The First Wives Club which just proves there is no hard and fast rule for this one. Sometimes it needs a good going back to move forward, but in most cases our advice is, DON’T.

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