In a recent update that’s both touching and somber, 26-year-old Kiwi pop sensation, Lorde, opened up to her vast sea of admirers through an intimate newsletter. Since skyrocketing to fame with her debut hit, “Royals,” in 2012, the young artist, whose real name is Ella Yelich-O’Connor, has continually basked in the limelight, a journey that hasn’t been without its share of challenges.
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The air was rife with anticipation as fans, clinging to every whisper of speculation, ardently believed new music was on the horizon, a belief fueled by a temporary shutdown of her website earlier this week. Addressing this fervent speculation, Lorde unveiled a heartfelt message, sharing that she is traversing through the realms of heartbreak once again.
Currently residing in London, Lorde conveyed a poignant sentiment of clarity amidst solitude, expressing a growing yearning for the comforting presence of friends and family, likening their absence to a vitamin deficiency. The artist, who has been away from her homeland, New Zealand, since May, also subtly shed light on her personal life, hinting at a parting of ways with her longtime partner, music executive Justin Warren, 42.
This revelation, layered with emotion and candor, offers a glimpse into the life of an artist who, despite her global acclaim, grapples with the universal human experiences of heartache and longing.
Sighted last together in May, the duo has been under the public eye since their joint appearance at the Vodafone New Zealand Music Awards back in 2015. Rumors were rife this year regarding a possible engagement, however, confirmation from either party remains pending.
Lorde, grappling with her heartache, pens: “It’s different but the same. I ache all the time, I forget why and then remember. I’m not trying to hide from the pain, I understand now that pain isn’t something to hide from, that there’s actually great beauty in moving with it. But sometimes I’m sick of being with myself.”
In an attempt to alleviate her distress, the artist reveals she resorted to indulging in chocolate, aiming to “manipulate the endorphins”. Contrary to expectations, the Grammy Award-winner expresses, “my body is really inflamed”.
She continues, “My gut isn’t working properly, my skin is worse than ever, I’ve gotten sick half a dozen times. I realised earlier this year that listening to my body is hard for me, it’s something I never really learned how to do”. The renowned singer further discloses the cessation of a “little yellow pill”, a daily regimen since her fifteenth year, leaving the audience to speculate its possible reference to a prescription antidepressant.
In her recent correspondence, Lorde reveals her online experiences, sharing that when perusing social media, she observes, “everyone looks very thin”. With a sense of poignancy, she confesses, “Just thinking that makes me feel tired and far away. I’m not sure if it’s having an effect on anyone else”.
Subsequently, Lorde divulges that she was slated to grace Paris Fashion Week, but she recently communicated to her manager to retract her participation, stating, “At the start of my career I promised myself I’d never be one of the people in the light smiling if it wasn’t real”.
Further, Lorde unburdens herself about instances of engaging with natural hallucinogens like mushrooms. She reflects that this helped her unravel “a lot of information about what my body had been through in our time so far, what it needed, where God was and where God wasn’t; I felt in my bones how destabilising it is to leave home and start a new life the way I did”. The episode also brought her to the realization that her body is “magnificent, and that hating it is as futile as hating a tree”.
Approaching the conclusion of her extensive update, Lorde accentuates some brighter moments of her year. She shares snapshots from a brief European festival tour, highlighting how she and her team successfully orchestrated a “cool new version” of the performance in just a few days.
In a recent communication to her fans, the globally acclaimed singer, Lorde, opened up about her literary preferences, shedding light on some of her top book recommendations. These include Olga Tokarczuk’s Drive Your Plow over the Bones of the Dead, Motherhood by Sheila Heti, and Rough Translations penned by Molly Giles. The latter, she reveals, was a thoughtful recommendation from TVNZ Breakfast host, Chris Chang, whom she affectionately refers to as a “sweet angel bookworm.”
Expressing her deep affinity for Te Wiki o Te Reo Māori, Lorde conveyed the joy she experiences engaging with it from London. In the same breath, she brought attention to The Kindness Institute – a pivotal mental health resource catering to Māori rangatahi. She urged her fans to consider making a donation, especially in light of its recent cut in government funding. Acknowledging the economic strain many are under, she stated, “I know the cost of living is cooked for Kiwis right now and pop stars asking people to donate sux, but if you work at a good-sized company maybe you can wrangle a donation from your employers?! I’m gonna email my record company about it.”
In addition, Lorde shared a Sylvia Plath poem, titled Stings, a piece her mother, Sonja Yelich, had brought to her attention, noting that it perfectly encapsulated her sentiments.
In conclusion, the artist reassured her followers, confessing candidly, “don’t worry about me”, and admits, “I still laugh every day, it’s all moving, even when it goes slow. I’ve accepted the mission — I have a self to recover”.